THE IDEAL HOLE.

I always end up having a conversation with people about “types”.

“What’s your type”

“What do you find attractive”

etc.

etc.

My response is always pretty genuine.

“I will know it when I see it.”

I can like certain characteristics or features in a man one day and hate them the next.

Why…

Hell If I know…?

What I do know is on a wine drunken night I went down the rabbit hole of Netflix and found the ideal hole.

When I say ideal hole, I mean in the most derogatory, man handling, territorial, boyfriend shit kind of way.

I could care less about this mans real life or fake actor life…ya know the fake actor life when they gotta do that fake ass PR shit and have a fake relationship or some shit like that.

What I do care about is how I can picture myself eating this mans hole for fucking days.

I was in this random ass sushi bar one night and all I could think about while I was shoving oysters, raw sushi and guzzling sake down my throat was how incredibly turned on I was imagining and wanting to find this man.

It got so bad I put him as my screensaver.

To be fair, I think it’s healthy to have hope in wanting to fuck the living hell out of a human and wanting to claim them as a holefriend.

You’re welcome for my attention, ideal hole.